Сюрреалистическая карта мира
Приведенцев Геннадий
масло, холст
160.0 x 195.0 см
Год создания: 1998
High Atop the Tower
This is spot-on. Well said, Mr. Buckley.
“The only people that I’ve never heard complain about where they are in life, are the ones that have completely given up on that pattern that I’m judging myself against.”
awesome.
(Source: letter26)
(Source: modified-me)
Trio has pretty much written a song for every tough occasion.
A funny thing about love.
I get so scared, so afraid, of fucking up something, that in the constant fear of messing up I, in fact, fuck up. This time royally. Single handedly ruined one of the best relationships I’ve ever had, friend, companion, love, hand holder, movie partner, cuddle warmer, personality enhancer, bad joke smiler, advice consultant, life brightener.
I feel like such an idiot. And because I, myself, am too fucked up to realize when someone actually cares about me.
just going to leave this here.
(Source: sass-burger)
As many jokes I make about feeling old at 25, I should be able to brush it off, besides I’m invincible and in my prime. I guess its more of a mental state, strange how it can affect your whole perception, physicality, and will to accomplish anything.
Day 1, New years done. I’ve spent much time today reflecting, and recovering. I felt really old all last year, I’m going to try and change that. In the spirit of resolutions, I guess I’ve come up with a few, but really they are more overall philosophies to live by. Just try to live better, more full, stop being so stagnant. I think my solemn attitude lately has been due to a lack of learning. Feel like I’ve just been running in place, being complacent, (i.e. feeling old). I’m going to attempt to change that, and start reading, being more creative, and generally just figuring out the hell I need to be pursuing in life.
edit: i kept using old in a negative connotation. Being old isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think our elderly are an untapped resource of knowledge and experience. ”Old” in the since I’m using it is more of a state of mind I suppose.
So, I’m waving goodbye to 2011, in a very similar fashion to the way I greeted it last December. Lost, but optimistic.
Decemeber 2010, I graduated college and upon the culmination of my school career I had an unnerving feeling of “what the fuck do i do now”. I was at a job that I was not very fond of, just kind of rolling with the punches that life brings, living with some amazing friends, and enjoying the single life. Throughout the year, I searched for work, I lost/quit jobs, I met a girl I’ve never felt more connected to, I essentially lived out of a backpack, and in transit. However, there is a clear theme to all the events that have occurred in this year. This whole time, I feel like I’ve been trying to figure out what to do, what I should do, who I should be with, where I should work. There have been times this year where I have thought I had everything figured out. Then just as quickly as I felt confident about my plans, they were cut down at the fucking knee caps by the chariot of life. In an instant, again and again, I found myself bleeding, crawling, and grasping for my shield on the floor of this coliseum.
I’ve never been so low, desperate, or lost in all my life, than I have in 2011.
I would have never made it without the love of good friends, and my family. They are the ones who rallied me, after I was routed. They are the ones who gave me shelter, when I was under fire, and they are the ones who continuously love me no matter what kind of bullshit I intentionally and unintentionally put them through.
I cannot thank you all enough,
And now as I watch 2011 sail off into the sunset, I find myself once again, lost at sea, staring at my compass, prying over maps, and consulting the advice of my first mates. Like last year, I’m alone again, my mirror has faded, but I can still see my reflection in the distance, I just hope I’m not seeing things. Again, I’m at a job that I do not care too much for, and I’m living with some amazing friends.
So I end this year the way I ended the one before. Lost, but optimistic.
I’ve got some things I want to do for the next year, but I haven’t drafted a list yet. I want to be more creative. I want to be somewhere stable, the walls of my backpack are growing thin. I want to figure myself out, and gather my focus in a direction. I want to be able to love someone again without feeling scared. I want to cheers all of my friends, and travel. I want to eat better, and feel better about myself. I want to know what I want.
That verbal garbage was in no particular order, more just my brain spilling on to paper. Anyways, I’m looking forward to the new year, and these past 3 days leading up to the end, have provided the perfect reset button to my life. So I guess, on January 1st ill hit “new game”, enter my name, awake to a sunny room, and a world of challenges, and choices.
Smell ya later 2011, bring it on 2012.
